Having 5 kids is challenging in most situations, but perhaps the most challenging is riding in the car together. The kids can not make it through one car ride without hitting each other, touching each other, or without tears.
So, last night as we were driving home from my parent's house, I informed the kids that if they hit or touched each other in any way, they would be grounded from friends and the outdoors on Monday. Did they take me seriously? No. I even gave them a few chances. So, today both Ella and Andrew are grounded from friends and the great outdoors.
Anyway, it is 10:00 AM, and already Andrew is throwing a major fit about not being able to play outside. I've heard several excuses and threats. "Mom, it was an accident." "Mom, I'm not going to clean for you if you don't let me play outside." "Mom, I'm going to ground you from the computer." "Mom, just let me go outside today." "Mom, Ella hit me first." "Mom, I'm never talking to you again!"
So, I ask you. Who is this really punishment for? I've got to come up with disciplinary action without punishing myself. Any suggestions?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
I wish I had a suggestion for you. We're struggling right now too. It's going to be a LONG summer
I'm not sure about what disciplinary action you can take to resolve your problems...some families just can't be helped. Just ask Lindsay. She remembers the LONG drive to Wyoming with my brothers in the back seat. Whatever you do, don't blame the girls; I promise they're not the ones responsible.
Oh my goodness Nat does this post sound like my little family right now. We are trying to solve this problem too. I love Andrew's excuses. It sounds just like something my kids would say. No answers really just some empathy. Here's to a happy day with NO FIGHTING!
I don't know. I took away shows the other day, and we all know who I was really punishing...me! Just tell them they have to kiss and make up next time they hit. Worked for us! And I think it was a particularly stressful Sunday at Grandma Shar's so that could be the culprit too. Maybe after the first time you take away stuff, they won't hit again. We'll see.
So --- my undergrad was in psychology and having kids has allowed me to try a few things. With my kids, the threats and punishments aren't quite as effective as incentives and rewards -- which is just what the theory stuff says. So... create a reward for being GOOD - they get a point for going so many minutes in the car without hitting/touching/fighting/causing problems, etc - and once they get so many points - they get a prize! Just make sure the reward/incentive is immediate or else the behavior won't be reinforced. (Maybe I should leave the business field and go back to psychology?) Something to try if you haven't already gone down this alley. Good luck! :)
OK, is Lindsay saying that being at Grandma Shar's creates stress in your lives? What exactly is she saying? I'm pretty sure I didn't cause the fighting on the way home in the car...and how much can you blame on sugar overload anyway?
With my kids I take away privileges too. I always make sure it's one of their favorites. But if they haven't been too bad I let them earn back the privilege. I make them do 3-5 chores to earn it back. It works pretty good. If they have been really bad I won't let them earn it back....we all just suffer! Good luck!
Sometimes parenting in and of itself feels like a punishment, it's a good thing that every now and then they give you a little sweet moment that makes it all worth it!
Post a Comment